Alice's initiation into kinship caregiving began abruptly with the disappearance of her daughter. After a tip from a neighbor, Alice found her 18-month-old grandson Marcus alone in an empty house. His diaper was heavily soiled and he was covered in ketchup-the only food he'd managed to scavenge during the seven days he'd spent alone. "My stomach twisted when I saw him," recalls Alice. "I thought the ketchup was blood." The house was dark except for a dim light from the refrigerator Marcus had opened.
Like many kinship caregivers, Alice stepped into a natural role her grandson's birth parents vacated. She knew nothing of guardianship, fostering, or child welfare services.
After severing the mother's parental rights, the court permitted Alice to keep Marcus. But she wouldn't find out until years later that she'd also been awarded guardianship rights. And so Alice ran into bureaucratic dead-ends whenever teachers or health care providers learned that she was not Marcus' mother.
Alice fought hard to preserve Marcus' health and education-at hospitals, Marcus' aunt posed as his mother. At schools, Alice simply let administrators assume she was Marcus' mother until they started asking questions. Then she moved to another school district.
As Alice devoted herself to caring for her grandson, the impact on her personal life became severe. Unable to afford daycare, she changed jobs so that she could work nights while Marcus stayed with her sister. Unwilling to help raise a child, Alice's boyfriend left, signaling the end of her private social life. "I was older with a baby," says Alice. "Most of the guys I knew didn't have or want babies. Even my family thought I was crazy. They didn't understand."
In the meantime, Alice's daughter had another child-this time a girl named Danielle. Suffering from schizophrenia, Alice's daughter inevitably repeated history. So Alice moved to Colorado long enough to retrieve six-year-old Danielle. Alice brought both children back to Wyoming, unaware that without guardianship rights, crossing state lines with a minor was a crime.
Turning point
When he entered sixth grade, Marcus' pre-registration for junior high required more paperwork. Alice couldn't hide anymore. Her grandson's health issues also began to pose more challenges. In a short amount of time, his medical bills passed $50,000, wiping out Alice's savings.
Alice lost her job when her company went bankrupt. With the last of her savings, she paid one more month's rent, leaving her with $8 and four weeks to get help.
Alice learned about Casey Family Programs through a local church. She contacted Brenden McKinney, and with Casey's help, became a certified foster parent, landed a new job, obtained legal guardianship for Danielle, and learned she already had guardianship for Marcus.
"Casey saved my life," says Alice.
Before she passed away, Alice's daughter sometimes paid them a visit, bringing chaos and emotional turmoil. When her mother died, Danielle began to act out-rapidly descending to theft, vandalism, promiscuity, and drug abuse.
Alice was at the end of her rope as she tried to deal with these severe behavioral issues. But Casey gave her counseling, support, and parenting advice.
Sticking by her grandchildren paid off. At 19, Danielle is nearing the end of her IT training in the U.S. Army. Marcus' kidneys failed two years ago, but he's now living on his own and preparing to look for work outside his home. Alice married five years ago.
"I thought at one point that neither of them was going to make it," recalls Alice. "But like any other teenager, they got it together. I'm so glad I was there. I wonder if it would have been different if they'd been in foster care. I think some foster parents tend to give up when it gets really tough. But for kinship caregivers, giving up isn't an option."
Bringing hope to other kinship caregivers
Kinship caregivers' need for help is great in Wyoming. State support caps at $380 per household-regardless of how many children a kinship caregiver is supporting.
In 2004, Alice visited Casey's Kinship and Adoption Resource and Education (KARE) center in Tucson, Arizona. Casey asked her if she would like to help start a similar program in Wyoming.
Alice accepted Casey's offer, and helped found Wyoming Kinship Advocacy, a Cheyenne-based organization dedicated promoting safe and environments for children and giving famlies access to community resources through a respectful and dignified process.
"I really believe our society has taken the two most vulnerable age groups and teamed them together," says Alice. "If we want that joining to work, we have to put our best foot forward and help them."