{"id":30997,"date":"2013-12-05T20:00:01","date_gmt":"2013-12-05T20:00:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/caseyfamilyv2.wpengine.com\/fatherhood-policy-equal-fatherhood-practice\/"},"modified":"2026-05-15T18:38:22","modified_gmt":"2026-05-15T18:38:22","slug":"fatherhood-policy-equal-fatherhood-practice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.casey.org\/es\/fatherhood-policy-equal-fatherhood-practice\/","title":{"rendered":"Pol\u00edtica de paternidad frente a pr\u00e1ctica de la paternidad: La pregunta sigue siendo \u201c\u00bfC\u00f3mo puedes mantener a un hijo si no puedes mantenerte a ti mismo?\u201d.\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"
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This is Casey Family Programs President and CEO Dr. William C. Bell<\/span>‘s keynote address at the 2009 Statewide Policy Conference for Washington state.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \n \n \n <\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

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Transcript<\/h2>\n \n \n \n

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Good afternoon, and thank you for allowing me to share a part of this day with you.<\/p>\n

I think this is an incredible opportunity for caring, compassionate people to come together and focus on an issue that should be important to all of us, because I\u2019m a firm believer that caring, compassionate people \u2013 when they put their minds to do something \u2013 can change the world if they choose to. I want to talk to you a bit today about choosing to do the right thing.<\/p>\n

I want to thank Marvin and his lovely wife, Jeanett, for inviting me to be a part of this.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s an honor for me to share in this moment because I come at this issue from a number of different fronts. I come as a concerned citizen, as an active participant in making the world better for vulnerable children in America. And vulnerable children for Casey Family Programs is focused on what we used to say are the 500,000 children in foster care; and I\u2019m proud that we can now start to say the 475,000 children that are still in foster care. Our 2020 effort at Casey will look to that day when we will say the 250,000 children in foster care, and watch that number continue to go down because people have chosen to do the right thing.<\/p>\n

I also come at this from the perspective of a human services career that spans nearly 30 years of being focused on trying to change the path that young people are walking. One of my models that I look to in terms of how people live their lives is Rev. King. Dr. King said that one of his favorite songs was, \u201cIf I Can Help Somebody as I Travel Along.\u201d<\/p>\n

And so, for me the focus that I bring to my work is that I want to know somebody personally. I want to intervene in their lives personally so that I know that I am helping somebody, because then my living is not in vain.<\/p>\n

I come at this as a father of two little girls \u2013 one 2 \u00bd and one just two months. I remind myself about those two little girls quite frequently, because God forbid, if something were to happen to me or my wife, and there was nobody in our family who could step in to take care of these two little girls, I would want the system that, by default was going to become their parents, to be a system that I could be proud of. And I would not want anybody else\u2019s child to be at the mercy of a system that I wound not want for my own. This picture (holds up picture of his two little girls) reminds me of why I must consistently be a caring and compassionate human being. Because it\u2019s not just about somebody else\u2019s children, it\u2019s about my own as well.<\/p>\n

I come at this with those two little girls having an opportunity with me that their two older sisters didn\u2019t have. I have a 25-year-old and a 22-year-old from my first marriage. I had a duty and a responsibility to two young people, and that challenge of trying to parent from a distance is something that, if you\u2019ve never had to experience it, it doesn\u2019t quite trigger in you when you listen to these gentlemen talk about their lives. I don\u2019t for one second suggest that my life was the same as anybody\u2019s, because everybody has a different experience when you\u2019re dealing with this.<\/p>\n

And, I also come at this from in the \u201880s and \u201890s in New York City being part of a group called the Black Fatherhood Collective.<\/p>\n

This conversation has been going on for some time, and I think that it is time for the choir to begin to sing this chorus that I think has been reverberating in this room today. That chorus is one that says, \u201cWe need to take what has been envisioned in people\u2019s heads for far too long and move it into reality.\u201d That\u2019s what DADS is doing. That\u2019s why I\u2019m honored to be in fellowship with DADS. It could\u2019ve been that Marvin and Jeanett were just going to get their lives together and handle their business and make sure that their children had something. But without a vision, the people perish; and what they did was to say, \u201cIf it worked for me, then I have an obligation as a caring, compassionate individual to make sure that it works for everybody else that I can touch.\u201d<\/p>\n

What we need to be about is, as caring, compassionate individuals, asking ourselves, in a system where we say it is government of the people, for the people and by the people, what is our intent? What outcomes are we seeking to drive by our policies, and our practices, and our behaviors?<\/p>\n

It\u2019s important, as I started to say earlier, to recognize that there are no enemies in this conversation. Earlier when Marvin was talking about something going to the prosecuting attorney and nothing good coming from the prosecuting attorney; well, we love prosecuting attorneys. We love the folks who work in TANF. We love the folks who work in child support enforcement. But what we don\u2019t necessarily love is a system that we\u2019ve allowed to evolve.<\/p>\n

So, the first question that we should ask ourselves is, \u201cWhat is our intent?\u201d Because your intent will drive what you do, and sometimes we are doing things because it has been written for us to do and we don\u2019t question it. We just do it because it\u2019s our jobs. We all want to get the gratification of doing our jobs well, because that\u2019s how you get promoted. You\u2019re given an assignment. You take that assignment on. You do the best possible. You outshine the folks around you, and you\u2019re recognized and elevated.<\/p>\n

But I think it is time to take a step back and ask ourselves, \u201cDo we have what we intended? Do we have playing out what we would choose to have play out in our own lives?\u201d<\/p>\n

One of the things that I\u2019ve learned from watching my 2 \u00bd-year-old refuse to go to sleep at night unless daddy is in her room holding her hand; one of the things that I\u2019ve learned from that experience is that every child deserves the opportunity to say, \u201cI love you, daddy,\u201d and to hear back, \u201cI love you too, baby.\u201d<\/p>\n

Every child deserves that opportunity, and if our system is contributing to something different, then we need to question the design and the intent \u2013 whether conscious intent or unconscious intent.<\/p>\n

I love the term, \u201cchild support.\u201d What children should not be supported? Child Welfare. What children should not have their well-being in the forefront of caring, compassionate adults? But unless the outcome of the movement of the system is moving toward helping fathers build positive relationships with the mothers of their children; if it is not moving toward helping fathers spend more quality time with their children; if it\u2019s not moving toward helping fathers understand how to nurture their children; then we must question intent.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n \n \n \n <\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n

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How many of you had a nurturing father when you were growing up?<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

— Dr. William C. Bell, President and CEO<\/cite><\/figcaption>\n <\/div>\n\n <\/div>\n<\/figure>\n\n\n
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How many of you had a nurturing father when you were growing up? I didn\u2019t. I didn\u2019t, and I paid the price for not having it. But I committed myself to understanding how to be a nurturer myself, because I didn\u2019t want my children to grow up not understanding, by not having the opportunities that were not afforded to me. Statistics about what happens to children who are raised in an environment where their father is not there say that there is a greater propensity that those children are:<\/p>\n